Today I worked on my homework and finished a big project that is due on Monday. I consider this improvement because most of the time, I leave homework and even big projects until Sunday nights. Hopefully, I’ll have the rest of the little homework finished early tomorrow afternoon.
PROCRASTINATION (v): to delay or postpone action; to put off doing something
This is one of my many flaws. An excellent example of this would be the fact that I am writing this post the night before my wonderful teacher, Mr. Walter, will be checking our blogs for a status report. What I’m hoping to do throughout the course of this project is read up on procrastination and how to overcome it and finally do something about it in my own life. So far, as my flaw may hint at, I haven’t really kicked off the project fully. I have yet to get my second book on procrastination from the library. Although, in my own defense, the book hasn’t been delivered to my public library from another town’s library even though I requested it about two weeks ago.
However, I have done something. After picking up my first book, “It’s About Time!” by Dr. Linda Sapadin with Jack Maguire, I took the self quiz and learned that my style of procrastination is a mix of “dreamer” and “perfectionist”. Dr. Sapadin describes “dreamers” by saying that dreamers:
“…desperately want life to be easy and pleasant, so they automatically recoil from anything that might be difficult or distressing. Dreamers try as much as they can to coast through the stresses and strains of day-to-day life in a dreamy state of disengagement. Imagining the ideal life to be on ethat is comfortable and non-threatenign, they continually strive to ‘feel good.’ In the process, they lose sight of who they really are and therefore how they really feel. No wonder any deep, enduring satisfaction eludes them!”
As for my “perfectionist” side, Dr. Sapadin said, “Because perfectionist procrastinators are idealists, they can be very unrealistic in their use of time and energy. Perfectionists are extreme in their thinking: If they’re going to do something, they reason, they should do the best possible job that can be done. There’s no acceptable ‘middle ground.’ Since few real-life situations can be defined in terms of a ‘perfect’ outcome, this type of thinking usually leads to performance standards based on personal fantasies of perfection, not on the practicalities of the situation at hand.”
Anyway, this is about it for now. I’ll try reading some more of the book to find out what the good doctor says I should do to overcome this hamartia of mine.
I think that addiction is a disease of the brain. In my opinion, a “disease of the brain” isn’t necessarily an actual illness but rather the effect that certain situations have on a person’s mind and how those effects manifest coping methods. My dad was an alcoholic for a good part of his life but I don’t think that it was his fault. As a child, he lived in a poor country and was one of six children. He was also the black sheep of the family and was unfortunately beaten on a regular basis while his brothers and sisters turned the other way and didn’t say anything even when he was being punished for something he didn’t do and they knew it. Another factor was his father, who was also a heavy drinker. After my grandfather died, my dad’s family moved to the US in order to have a better living. Once here, my dad continued to walk the straight and narrow. He joined the army and did well at whatever he tried. While still in the army, he met a nice girl that had a controlling Italian father. My dad and the woman dated for a year and the woman’s father assumed they were getting married. In an attempt to help the woman to get out from under her father’s thumb, my dad agreed to marry her. The marriage didn’t last and for this my dad’s family gave my dad the cold shoulder because divorce was wrong. Then my dad met my mom and his family didn’t approve. A few years into my parents’ marriage, my dad’s early life caught up with him and he began drinking.
Because of the way my dad’s life happened, I have to believe that addictions aren’t personal failings but the accumulation of the effects of stressful situations.
When I was little, I lived on a street that didn’t have many kids my age for me to play with. I believe that this led to my awkwardness at the beginning of school. In kindergarten, I met my best friend and things seemed to get better. She looked out for me and made sure no one was mean to me. Between kindergarten and second grade, things were great. I loved my teachers, the picking on was at a minimum, and I was slowly but surely making some new friends. When third grade came around, it got a little rough. My best friend was in a different class and my teacher was unreasonable. My teacher assigned a ridiculous amount of homework each night and a book report every month. I became frustrated with the amount of things that needed to be done. In fourth grade, we were in different classes again and that’s when I started growling at people when they made fun of me because I didn’t know any other way to deal with the situation. Finally in fifth grade, things were looking up again. My friend and I were still in different classes but I could handle myself by then. People still made fun of me for being short but my mom’s little motto of “good things come in small packages” was starting to sink in. Next came a major turning point. My parents decided to move to a new house nearly twenty minutes away from the only town I knew. I was thrust into school that September at the beginning of sixth grade, as we were still unpacking. I knew no one. This time, instead of growling, I turned back into my shell and tried not to draw attention to myself. I’ve been gradually coming out of that shell to voice my opinions and mingle with my peers. I’ve made friends, lost friends, learned I like some things and dislike others.
As for my parents, my dad was an alcoholic and would often get home and go straight for the cabinet because of something that had happened at work or with his family. As a kid, he grew up in a third world country and was the black sheep of the family even though he was always on the straight and narrow. Now that I know the whole story, I can understand why he started drinking heavily but when I was a younger, I didn’t realize he was drunk at times and would get scared when he got angry with my brother. One time, my dad was driving us all home from somewhere and he became angry because my mom was trying to get him to slow down. He pulled into a cul-de-sac and made a sharp turn around that almost flipped the car. I was so scared that I actually yelled for him to stop, which I had never done before. I would normally just sit in the back seat with my seatbelt fastened tight hoping nothing would happen. Needless to say, we did make it home in one piece. Coming up on three years ago, my dad quit drinking and has been my best friend ever since.
My mom has always been the backbone of my family. She keeps everyone in line and makes sure my brother and I do well in whatever we do. I’ve always looked up to my mom whether she believes it or not. I’ve become more and more like her with each passing year and I think this is a good thing. She always does her best and manages to keep everyone on schedule and where they need to be.
In general, I believe in a laid back view on life. What will be will be. I try to go with the flow as much as possible. If I can’t change something or someone, why should I worried about it or be angry about it? This mindset has gotten me through situation after situation. Midterms for example. I look over my notes once or twice and then relax. If I really learned the stuff, I don’t have to worry about it. If I didn’t, then the test will reflect that as it should. Why should I cram for some test if the test is supposed to not only reflect my own understanding but also the effectiveness of the teacher and his/her methods of explaining a topic.
just needed to get some music playing, no more mass music posts
Hey Juliet- LMNT
hahaah who remembers this?
FUCK YES I used to love LMNT
OOOOOH MY GOD, I HAVE THEIR CD!
I used to listen to that song ALL NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT.
